rambling thoughts when I should be in bed

I love this picture! It was taken just a month before my father took our family on the two year adventure of living in Italy. I am in the middle on the left, looking like Shawn Cassidy just walked past me. This picture always makes me laugh-the only one who looks decent is my dad. We had been at the beach all day, one last trip before moving. My mother was in a frenzy, as we all had sand in our hair and marshmallow goo smeared all over us, the remnants of the hot dog and marshmallow roast we had on the beach. We are not co-ordinated in any way. No matching outfits, no general color scheme. Just a little bit of everything. That is my family! Today has been one of those days when I wish it was all still like it was in 1978. My father, strong and healthy and fit, playing football and softball with us and taking us hiking and on long walks that always ended at Baskin Robbins. My mother, all sparkling wit and sharp minded, cooking horrible tuna casserole and pruning her roses while we rode bikes. I honestly would not trade my current life for anything. I am so happy as a wife and mother, and love this big, noisy, happy crew of children I have been blessed with. I love life with my golden voiced farmer, the only man who can make me laugh until I am wetting my pants and gasping for breath. But, some days, I just want my daddy back. I want to play pinochle with him, to bid him sky high and watch him throw down his cards in disgust. I want to hear his smiling voice, to take a long walk with him, holding his middle finger as I did when I was little. Some days, it seems easier to long for the distant past than to pick up and carry on with courage and joy. This has been one of those days. Tomorrow, I will rise at 5:30 to begin the strawberry season with a bang, and the next few weeks will be so busy I will have no time to look forward or backwards. It will be all I can do to get through each day's work, and still have the energy to brush my teeth before bed. I am half excited, half dreading it!